


No One's Hands Are Strong Enough To Fix This.

by firequakes



Category: MBLAQ, T-Ara
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, M/M, Mentions of Death, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-04
Updated: 2011-02-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 08:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15882372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firequakes/pseuds/firequakes
Summary: joon wants things to be better; soyeon attempts to fix things.





	No One's Hands Are Strong Enough To Fix This.

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from a yellowcard song.

When Seungho loses his grandfather, Joon notices the little changes in Seungho's demeanor. His shoulders are slumped, and the circles under his eyes sag more than usual. Joon wants to comfort him, make him feel better, put at least a little smile on his face. He does what he can— he plays with Seungho off-cam and on-cam, clings onto the leader and cracks silly jokes. Every time it works, every time he sees at least a hint of a smile on Seungho's face, Joon's heart feels bigger than before.

Except one time, he catches Seungho crying alone his room, and it's such a rare sight that it catches Joon completely off guard.

"Hyung, are you alright?" he asks softly.

Seungho flinches, obviously surprised by Joon's presence, but he just nods in response.

"I'm tired," Seungho mumbles, rubbing his entire face, trying to discreetly wipe away the tears. "I just need sleep."

Joon stares for a few seconds before coming over and sitting down on the bed next to him.

"Hyung," he starts, looking directly at Seungho.

"What?" Seungho asks, turning to look directly right back.

And Joon can suddenly see it so clearly, from Seungho's swollen eyes, how tired he is, how sad and frustrated, and Joon is suddenly overcome with the desire and need to make things better for Seungho.

So he leans in and kisses Seungho. Slowly at first, comforting, and there is a tiny voice at the back of his head telling him that this is probably not the best idea, but he ignores it because there's a louder voice telling him that this is what he knows how to do.

Seungho freezes at first, but Joon coaxes him gently until Seungho's lips finally part and the two of them are properly kissing.

"What are you—" Seungho starts to ask when they pull away for air.

"Shh," Joon just shushes him, giving Seungho a quick peck on the lips, even as Joon's hand snakes down, down,  _ down _ until they reach the garter of Seungho's boxers.

"Joon,  _ what _ —" Seungho tries again, so Joon shuts him up with a proper kiss this time around, and  _ damn _ , Seungho's lips have always looked nice, but actually kissing him like this is better than anything Joon has ever imagined.

He cups Seungho inside his boxers, and Seungho let's out a low moan.

"Your hands," Seungho mutters. "They're warm."

"Shh," Joon whispers. "I'm making things better."

It's  _ Changsun _ that Joon hears from Seungho's mouth when he comes all over Joon's hand. He doesn't quite know how to feel about that.

  
  
  
  


Seungho doesn't speak a word about what happened the day after. He ignores Joon for most of the day, even, and Joon can't help but be a little hurt. No one seems to notice anything though, so Joon just keeps quiet as well.

After a week, he gets impatient and musters up the courage to confront Seungho, who just stares at him.

"Hyung?" Joon asks, about to repeat his question, unsure.

"I'm sorry Changsun," Seungho says, looking away. "I— I'm not— I don't like guys that way."

Joon just walks away after that. He can't blame Seungho after all, he doesn't even understand anymore what the hell he was thinking.

  
  
  
  


Joon pours himself into work more than ever. He's lucky enough that he gets a lot of solo activities that he doesn't really get to spend much time with the rest of the members. What free time he has he tries to spend outside the dorm, going to the gym with Jonghyun, or having dinner with Jinki, or sometimes even the occasional meet-up with Yonghwa. The less time he sees Seungho, the less time he feels sorry for himself.

He comes home late one night after recording a show to G.O and Mir cracking gay jokes about something they're watching on the television. Seungho is there too, not really saying anything, but kind of shaking his head with a little smile. Joon catches his eye, and purses his lips— at least Seungho has the gall to look a little bit guilty.

"I'm home," he announces. And then he goes on straight to his room before anyone can greet him back.

The truth is, Joon has known for a long time that he's capable of liking boys like  _ that _ . His feelings for Seungho are a more recent development compared, but it's still something he's been dealing with a for a while now. He feels a bit used, but he mostly just feels like an idiot, because he really should have known better.

  
  
  
  


Joon gets to record a show with Soyeon and a bunch of other celebrities and idols who aren't from MBLAQ. He likes Soyeon. She lets him call her just Soyeon, no honorifics because "you were born early 1988 anyway," and she's cute, and always fun to be around, and Joon has felt like this even before debut. Before MBLAQ, and T-ARA, and she was just the girl Seungho had introduced to him as someone he went to high school with.

They talk in between takes, and Soyeon asks him how he's been doing.

"Seungho says he has no idea what you've been up to apart from work," she says. "And Byunghee says you've just been acting weird lately."

"Really?" he laughs, but he tries not to sound bitter about it. "I've just been busy I guess."

Soyeon looks at him, and he feels like she knows  _ something _ that he gets a bit uncomfortable.

"Eh?" he asks her, trying to laugh it off.

Soyeon just shrugs, "I'm worried about you."

"What?" and his laugh is more genuine now. " _ What _ ?'

"Seungho's worried about you," Soyeon continues, her tone still very serious.

"He said that?" Joon frowns.

"Nah," Soyeon answers. "But I know."

Joon stares at her, and she just smiles at him, partly sad, partly sympathetic, and Joon just sighs.

  
  
  
  


Joon remembers Soyeon dropping by the dorm shortly after Seungho's grandfather's death. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't drop by earlier," she had said. "Schedule was hectic, but I'm here now."

"Thanks," and that was the first time that Joon had seen a genuine smile on Seungho's face after the death. It wasn't a big ear to ear smile, but it was  _ something _ , and Joon had felt good, but also a little bit jealous.

"Here, my mother made me promise to bring you food," Soyeon had said, handing Seungho a box of what Joon could only assume was filled with edible things. "Like you're starving or something."

  
  
  
  


They go out drinking, him and Soyeon. They go with a bunch of a other people, but in the end it's just the two of them who are left.

"Okay, now, talk," Soyeon demands. "Something is wrong, and you have to come clean."

They're both a little buzzed by then, so Joon looks at her and lets out a snort. 

"You know what's wrong," he says.

"Seungho?" Soyeon asks.

Joon just shrugs.

"We need to fix this," Soyeon sighs.

  
  
  
  


"What is she doing here?" Byunghee asks when he opens the door for them that night, his face contorting after he realises that both Joon and Soyeon are very, very drunk.

Joon just laughs in response, and points to Soyeon for answer. Soyeon just giggles, and squeals, "Is Seungho home?"

"The fuck is going on?" they hear Seungho say, and he's standing by the doorway of his room, looking sleepy, but mostly confused. "Soyeon?"

"Oh there you are," Soyeon says, mouth curving into a grin. "Come on," she grabs Joon's arm. "'Night, Byunghee."

G.O is clearly confused, and he looks like he wants explanations about what the fuck is going, but Soyeon is already marching Seungho into his room, pulling Joon along with her.

She locks the door behind them.

"Okay, now deal with your issues," she tells Joon and Seungho.

The two of them just stare at each other though, and Joon can already feel the alcohol in his system drying out.

"I should just go," Joon mumbles, moving towards the door.

Except Soyeon grabs him before he could turn the knob, and she pulls him down towards her to kiss him. Joon catches Seungho's eyes widen from behind Soyeon, and he's about to pull away, but Soyeon beats him to it.

"There," she says. "Shouldn't be so hard." And then she pulls Seungho towards Joon so that the two of them are just a few inches away, facing each other.

Joon doesn't know who moves first, but he  _ does _ know that kissing Seungho feels better than ever. And then it's a huge fucking blur, because Seungho is kissing Soyeon, and then  _ he's _ kissing Soyeon again, and then he doesn't know who is kissing who anymore, and who's body parts are whose anymore, and they're kind of just a tangle of limbs on the bed.

  
  
  
  


Joon wakes up to a bad hangover. Seungho is still asleep, Soyeon's arm slung over him. He gets up, scrambles to his feet, and he just wants to get out of the room because he feels like he doesn't really belong. He thinks he's made a fool out of himself again, but then he feels someone grab his hand.

He turns and finds that Seungho is awake. He tugs at his hand to get it away, but Seungho's hold is strong. No one says anything, and Joon just stares at him,  _ waiting _ for he doesn't even know what, and then Seungho lets go.

"Hyung," Joon murmurs. "Do you love her?"

Seungho is looking at Joon directly when he nods. Joon smiles, and sighs, and there's a pause, before, "Do you love me?"

There is an even longer pause, and they're just looking at each other, until finally Seungho looks away. Joon bits his lower lip, and then Seungho nods.

"Is it the same way?" Joon murmurs.

Seungho just shrugs, and Joon knows that's the most he is ever going to get, so he just looks down, and smiles.

"I've always liked her, you know," he says, referring to Soyeon.

"She's always liked you, too," Seungho answers.

"Well," Joon says, taking a deep breath, and standing up. "I guess it's time to get ready for the day, then."

Seungho nods at him, and Joon notices that the corner of his mouth is curved. Joon just smiles sadly, and he knows this can never happen again, but right now, he's ready to take what little he can, if it means actually getting away with  _ something _ .

  
  
  


//


End file.
